Its been four years in the city already. I feel tired and very mentally exhausted. Everything around me feels the same. Mundane and tasteless. I feel entrapped within myself. My own body has started to wear out on me. I look atleast five years older than my age.
It’s true what people say, a smile gives you a long life. I have lost that somehow. I used to work all throughout the day in events. Without even a smoke break, but I never cribbed because I loved my job, my life and the country that bestowed so many happy memories for me.
Everything is different now. I hardly feel like being a part of any conversation. The city feels rustic, people around look or seem to have an intention to be friendly. Cannot trust anyone, I keep telling myself. Why do I need to live like this?! Suffocated, isolated and overtly distraught.
Right now sitting in the tram makes me feel like a little kid enjoying the rains and wondering how this train despite of being super slow and exceedingly cheap can make me so happy!
At the moment, it’s all about holding on to a thin string of momentary joy. Maybe the time it’s gone, I’d be gone too!